Sunday, 14 April 2019
A new attitude
I have spent a very happy winter on my not so new mooring at Shebdon. I arrived there at the end of August and the time since has just flown by. So now we are in April and I have left my lovely mooring (and my wee car) and have cast myself onto the waters.
Bonny is still with me and although approaching ten years old, she is as lively as ever. The good news is that, since we have been at Shebdon she has been much less inclined to run away. She did it once and I had to rugby tackle her in the back garden of a nearby house. Since then she seems content to stay with me. So much so that we can now tramp across fields and through woods without using a lead. Her secret is that she has finally lost her fear and anxiety and trusts me now.
We have been cruising since 31st March. Bonny's new attitude has made me reappraise my own bad habits when it comes to new adventures. I have always struggled with anxiety and moving my boat from place to place sometimes causes me illogical stress. I have a phobia about queuing and so will start cruising at silly o'clock just to try and get to a lock flight first. If another boat comes off their mooring in front of me, or I find a queue when I get there, I can feel aggressively anxious. Mooring up too can get me going. I prefer to moor in out of the way places and can get very aggravated when, what I term, a 'snuggler' comes and moors right by me. It can leave me wound up for the whole evening. This spoils what is otherwise an idyllic existence.
This season I have made a 'new cruise' resolution. Each morning I say to myself "Today, I choose not to be anxious." I then carry on my day as I would if I were the only person alive in the world. I don't hurry to start in the morning (this is taking a lot of will power when I have a big lock flight to do). If I am following another boat I breathe deeply and give them (and myself) loads of space. I have started to moor on visitors moorings because I expect other boats to come and moor up next to me, so it causes less stress when they do. And if they don't it's a bonus.
So far I have been doing surprisingly well and only had one day where I slipped and rushed off in an anxious hurry. I noticed how that coloured my whole day and how it affected Bonny's mood. I also notice how much better my days are when I choose to relax and go with the flow.
Perhaps I am finally growing into my boat's name: 'Don't Panic'!
We are currently on the ridiculously beautiful Llangollen Canal, making our way very slowly towards Wales. I will endeavour to make regular entries in this blog as we travel.